Because GoogleAnalytics tells me all the weird things that people search for that lead them to this blog, I've decided to start responding to the real gems on here.
Booze. By the time they open the time capsule in 15 years they'll be old enough. And thirsty.
All my pictures on here are of people sipping ginger ale in their underwear :( Sorry.
Only if he's drinking root beer in the nude while he's beekeeping.
When 3 trees love each other very much and decide to crosspollinate...
Poison your bird-feeder or invest in a shotgun.
First, stop calling them "common." Every bird is a rare rose. Secondly, lower your voice. This isn't a rock concert.
Those aren't "night birds," friend. They're bats.
A sloth walks into a bar. Three years later, he gets to the counter and orders a beer.
One sloth asks another sloth, "How do you do so well with the ladies?" The second sloth replies, "Probably because I'm well hung."
I have 120,000 dollars in student loans. Please pre-order it instead.
Seasons 1, 2, and 3 of the Jersey Shore on DVD, a copy of WILDEFIRE, and 6 pieces of confetti for the opener to throw on themselves.
Have Robin spell check it for you. Or throw a Batarang at it.
What it sounds like when you say my name then scratch a turntable.
I will have the baby with you if you stop calling me Jane.
Little changes in your search keywords.
26 in two weeks.
I am frequently happy, yes.
Wait, were you googling this because you thought there would be a website that provided an answer? "Is Karsten Knight actually cute? Or is he just faking it? Let's debate." I'm a YA author, not Justin Bieber.
I don't even know how to respond to this one. If you read it quickly, it sounds like "You're caressing the goats."
Yes tapioca pudding. Think pudding! I mean--think positive.
2012 isn't for another 9 months, but at least John Cusack will be there to dance with you. With any luck, he'll be dressed as a: